


Know Thyself

by Silmanumenel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Humor, Inspired by..., Multiple Universes Colliding, Obi-Wan is so done, Sith Obi-Wan, imaginarykat, wicked thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 13:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silmanumenel/pseuds/Silmanumenel
Summary: Long-suffering Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi has a difficult life. Not only does he have a war, the council, and a reckless former Padawan to deal with, now he also has a Sith version of himself sitting in his quarters.Inspired by Wicked Thing by imaginarykat.





	Know Thyself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imaginarykat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarykat/gifts).
  * Inspired by [wicked thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261721) by [imaginarykat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarykat/pseuds/imaginarykat). 



> I absolutely love _Wicked Thing_ by imaginarykat and while going through her tumblr, I found a post about Sith Lord Obi-Wan meeting his canon counterpart – and inspiration struck. So credit goes to imaginarykat and the OP of that comment. 
> 
> This is my very first Star Wars story, and the first thing I’ve written in almost two years, so I don’t know how good it is. But I had fun!

Obi-Wan entered his quarters to find the Sith still lounging on his couch. So it had, as he had secretly hoped, not been a stress-induced hallucination. He valiantly resisted the impulse to turn back around, leave the room and take the next shuttle to whichever planet was furthest away from Coruscant. Even Wild Space was sounding more and more pleasant by the second.

What even was his life? What had he ever done to deserve having to deal with what was undeniably himself? He realised that there was a joke somewhere in this thought that was surely on him, but he refused to contemplate it further. He was sure though that somewhere in the depths of the Force, his Master was laughing at him.

As soon as the door swooshed shut behind him, golden eyes zeroed in on him, and he could not help the disconcerting feeling of displacement, as though he were walking down a flight of stairs and suddenly finding nothing but air beneath his feet.

“There you are,” the Sith – Obi-Wan? Kenobi? – greeted him, an amused smile quirking his lips. “Are you done panicking yet?”

“Please. I simply had better things to do than listen to your less than scintillating attempts to explain the unexplainable. Also, might I remind you that it was you who brandished his lightsabre at me in fear when you appeared here?”

He made his way over to the armchair opposite the couch, not letting the Sith, who was blatantly rolling his eyes at him, out of his sight.

“As though you would have fared any better.”

“I most certainly would have,” Obi-Wan countered. “I am a Jedi Master after all, and as such I strive to be calm and collected in all circumstances.”

That he was still surreptitiously looking for the candid holocam was certainly not relevant to the discussion. Meanwhile, his counterpart was leaning forward, disconcerting golden gaze still fixed on him.

“Oh really? Well then, oh revered Jedi Master Kenobi, if you are truly so unperturbed by our situation, you have, I am sure, already seen all the benefits this could bring to us.”

Obi-Wan just raised his eyebrow.

“Benefits? If by benefits you mean that I am now in the unique position to detain a Sith Lord not even of this universe, then yes, certainly. Though as I should like to think I know myself, that should not prove to be too much of a challenge.”

“But the reverse is true as well, is it not? And even more, I have known the life of a Jedi, while you have never lived that of a Sith. So I would think the advantage is on my side.”

Obi-Wan decided not to dignify that with a response, instead getting up again to make his way to the small kitchenette. Tea was the only thing that would get him through this surreal conversation. He also did not say that he did know what the Dark Side felt like. For one, his counterpart likely knew that anyway, and for another, he would certainly not cede an argument to himself.

“If you are making tea, I’ll have one as well,” the Sith informed him. “And if it’s that Sapir from the shop in CoCo Town, I’ll have it with just a bit of sugar. But you are aware of that of course.”

Obi-Wan could practically hear the smirk in the other’s voice and gritted his teeth. Was that really what he sounded like? If so, he might just be gaining a newfound understanding for some of Anakin’s frustrations. He picked up the two mugs and returned to the sitting room, putting one of them down on the table with a bit more force than was strictly necessary.

“Here. Careful, it’s hot. But if you are living on Mustafar, you should be used to that. I have to ask though, has the Dark Side truly addled your mind so far that you would consider _that_ an adequate place of residence?”

“No more than the Jedi have addled yours,” the Sith responded, making an exaggerated show of surveying Obi-Wan’s quarters. “You could not have made your surroundings any more drab had you tried. I know the Jedi disdain material or personal possessions, but did you honestly have to go the extra parsec? Do you even have a bed, or has your asceticism grown so far that you would prefer sleeping on the bare floor?”

Obi-Wan scoffed, leaning back into the armchair and cradling the mug in his hands.

“As if you did not make a thorough sweep of my quarters while I was gone. You know very well that I do have a bed, although I suppose it might not meet your standards. I imagine your own bed is a veritable sea of blankets and pillows. The Dark Side must be a cold and cruel mistress indeed, if you need all of these external comforts.”

The Sith did not answer for a second, instead stretching out on the sofa, propping up his head on his hand and smiling at Obi-Wan insolently.

“Quite the opposite, Obi, quite the opposite. I may call you Obi, I hope? I know we do not approve of nicknames, but you have to concede that we need some form of differentiation. But no, the Dark Side is neither of those things. It is unbridled and uncontrolled, but never cold. And why should I deny myself such simple comforts? The Force does not demand I live like a hermit; so yes, I do like to surround myself with beautiful things.”

“But it does demand your full devotion,” Obi-Wan retorted. “How can you fulfil that when you are constantly distracted by your pursuit of ease and luxury?”

“Well, it all depends on your point of view, does it not? I would say that you cannot fulfil your duty to the Force either when you are always preoccupied with denying yourself the simplest of delights. Such as, exempli gratia, a cosy bed. Or well-fitting clothes.”

As the Sith’s grin quite clearly attested to, he believed that he had scored a point. Obi-Wan elected to be the bigger man and not respond, especially because he had, admittedly, wished for a more comfortable bed numerous times in the past. And he unfortunately also had to acknowledge that black looked good on himself. Maybe he should think about a slight change in wardrobe. But then he would surely never hear the end of it from Anakin.

Which reminded him that before this day had taken a steep nosedive into a sarlacc pit, Anakin had said he would come by at some point. Obi-Wan sighed deeply. It was shaping up to be a long evening indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> It feels as though there’s not enough sass and as though Obi-Wan is nowhere close to imaginarykat’s absolutely brilliant version of him, but I did the best I could. Also, when Obi-Wan describes the Dark Side as “unbridled and uncontrolled”, that’s a direct quote from _Wicked Thing_ and credit for it goes there.


End file.
